We’ve all heard the saying, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” Whether you’re looking for a job, building a business, or considering a career change, your network will have a far greater influence on your success than your skills, credentials, and experience combined. This week’s Radical Stewardship™ blog  highlights two great resources that unpack the strategy behind building a high-value, mutually rewarding network.

IT’S NOT WHAT YOU KNOW, IT’S WHO YOU KNOW

The phrase, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know,” highlights the crucial role that professional relationships and connections play in career and business success, often being more influential in opening doors than skills and qualifications combined. Let’s take a look at why this is so important.

For Job Seekers

Simply having the right skills and education (“what you know”) is often not enough to secure a desirable position. A significant portion of the job market relies on personal referrals and introductions (“who you know”) to identify and vet candidates.

• Access to the Hidden Job Market: Many job openings (some sources suggest 70-85% of positions) are never publicly advertised; they’re filled through internal referrals or by recruiters tapping into their networks. A strong network can provide access to this “hidden job market.”
• Trust and Validation: A referral from a trusted connection often acts as pre-screening and an endorsement for the candidate’s character and competence, making a hiring manager far more likely to interview or hire them.
• Increased Hiring Odds: Referrals, while only a small percentage of total applications, account for a disproportionately large share of new hires. Data suggest that referred candidates have a much higher applicant-to-hire conversion rate and are often hired faster. In one study, approximately 35% of people surveyed reported getting their current job through a professional connection.

For Entrepreneurs

“Who you know” can be critical for securing essential resources, initial customers, and expert guidance, making the difference between an idea that languishes and a successful launch. One recent study found that sole proprietors who actively networked had a 55% higher chance of long-term business success.

• Securing Funding and Partnerships: Investors often rely on their network for deal flow and due diligence. For entrepreneurs in need of outside capital, a personal introduction to an angel investor or venture capitalist can be invaluable.
• Gaining Clients and Referrals: Early clients and word-of-mouth referrals are the lifeblood of a new business. Strategic networking allows entrepreneurs to find their first customers and form strategic alliances more quickly.
• Accessing Expertise and Support: Entrepreneurs often need advice in the areas of legal, finance, marketing, and operations. A strategically developed professional network can provide trusted, accessible sources of specialized knowledge and mentorship, helping the entrepreneur to avoid costly mistakes.

TWO GREAT RESOURCES TO HELP YOU NETWORK STRATEGICALLY

I’ve highlighted two of my favorite books below on the topic of networking and building strategic relationships. I don’t have an affiliate arrangement with either, I just think you’ll find them really helpful, and they complement each other well.

Who Not How: The Formula to Achieve Bigger Goals Through Accelerating Teamwork
by Dan Sullivan (2020)

The key premise of Dan Sullivan’s book, Who Not How, is that to achieve significantly bigger goals, entrepreneurs and high-performers must shift their mindset from trying to figure out how to do everything themselves to identifying who can help them achieve the desired results. This requires a fundamental shift in approach:

• From: “How can I do this?” (which is limited by your own time, skills, and energy)
• To: “Who can help me with this?” (which opens up exponential possibilities through collaboration)

By focusing on finding the right skilled people, teams, and collaborators (Dan calls them “Whos”), you can tap into their expertise and unique abilities, thereby freeing up your own time and energy to focus exclusively on your own strengths, creativity, and high-impact activities. This shift is the formula for accelerating teamwork, achieving exponential growth (10x or 100x results), and gaining greater freedom in time, money, relationships, and purpose.

Core Concepts:

• Focus on Unique Ability: Spend your time and energy on only the activities you are uniquely great at and genuinely enjoy. All other tasks should be delegated to a “Who.”
• Leverage Expertise: Instead of spending time learning new skills or methods (“How”), seek out people who are already experts in those areas (“Who”). This allows you to benefit from their 10,000 hours of experience instantly.
• Exponential Growth: When you stop limiting your goals to what you can personally execute, you can set much bigger, more ambitious goals that require collaboration, leading to accelerated results that would be impossible to achieve alone.
• Transformational Relationships: The Who Not How approach is not just about simple outsourcing, but about building powerful, mutually beneficial collaborations where all parties contribute their unique strengths and are transformed by the relationship.

Rich Relationships: Create a Million Dollar Network for Your Business
by Selena Soo (2025)

The key premise of Selena Soo’s book, Rich Relationships, is that genuine, meaningful, and authentic connections are the most powerful and valuable currency for success in both your personal life and your professional life. An intentional and generous approach to relationship-building grows key relationships far beyond traditional, transactional networking.

 Core Concepts:

• Relationships as an Asset: Selena posits that “rich relationships” are the smartest, most valuable investment you can make, as their value never depreciates, especially in a turbulent or “trust recession” world. She boldly claims (and I agree!) that one rich relationship can be more powerful than one hundred casual connections.
• Authenticity and Generosity: The book emphasizes leading with generosity and authenticity (the “Rich Giver” approach), focusing on adding value, being supportive, and genuinely caring about others’ success, rather than merely collecting contacts or focusing on what you can immediately get for yourself.
• Strategic Nurturing: The book provides frameworks (one example is the Six Circles of Connection) to help readers intentionally prioritize, organize, and nurture the relationships that are most aligned with their values and goals (mentors, collaborators, referral partners, etc.) while being strategic with their time investment.
• Support and Advocacy: A rich relationship is one where trusted friends and colleagues become genuine champions who rave about your work, refer clients, open doors, and support you during difficult times.

HOW STRONG IS YOUR NETWORK?

The strength of your network depends less on the number of people in your network (quantity/breadth) than it does on the strength of the individual relationships in it (quality/depth). Each relationship in your network will fall somewhere along the continuum between transactional and mutually beneficial. Let’s take a look at the two ends of the continuum.

Transactional Relationships

This is the most basic, self-interested level of connection, and the one we often default to when we suddenly find ourselves in need of a network that we have failed to cultivate. A transactional relationship is defined by a narrow, immediate exchange: I do X, and you give me Y.

• Mindset: Focused on cost and a specific, limited, deliverable benefit. The relationship exists only as long as the exchange is necessary.
• Limitation: This perspective aligns with the “How” mindset that Dan Sullivan encourages moving past, as it creates temporary, fragile connections. Selena Soo would categorize these as casual connections, lacking the depth needed for true support or long-term growth.

Mutually Beneficial Relationships

This is the highest level of connection, where the relationship becomes a source of empowerment and growth for everyone involved. Not every relationship belongs in this category. We need to be strategic about nurturing the ones that do.

• Dan Sullivan sees these relationships as an investment where all parties willingly give more than they take and commit to a shared vision. This creates an atmosphere of abundance and 10x growth that far exceeds what a simple transaction could provide.
• Selena Soo views these relationships as authentic, supportive connections that are intentionally nurtured. They are the most valuable currency because they provide continuous, long-term support and open doors that would otherwise remain closed.

THE PATH TO A STRONG NETWORK RUNS THROUGH SELFLESS SERVICE

So, how do you move a relationship from transactional to mutually beneficial? Both Dan Sullivan and Selena Soo outline a clear and strategic progression in the quality and intent of building and nurturing rewarding connections, moving away from simple trade toward deep, mutual investment. The crucial shift from a guarded, transactional relationship to a trusting, abundant, and mutually beneficial one is paved by selfless service and radical generosity. This does NOT mean buying relationships through sending gifts or doing favors with an expectation that the person will do something for you in return: that’s transactional. Here’s what radical generosity involves:

• Building Trust: While a transactional mindset requires constant score-keeping (“Did I get my money’s worth?”), by leading with selfless service (providing value, help, or a key introduction without an immediate expectation of return), you immediately establish trust and goodwill.
• Fostering Abundance: Generous acts, such as delivering far beyond what is expected, proactively supporting the other person’s goals and aspirations, or showing up when someone is struggling and offering genuine help without being asked demonstrate that your motives are rooted in the other person’s success, not just in your own gain. These types of generous acts are what Selena Soo calls “breathtaking generosity.”
• Enabling Investment: Dan Sullivan explains that creating this foundation of trust allows the relationship to become a true investment for both parties. When people know you lead with service, they become open to the kind of long-term, transformational partnership that drives extraordinary results.

SO, WHERE DOES RADICAL GENEROSITY COME IN?

Radical generosity is selfless service on steroids. It is the act of giving generously, freely, and often at a significant cost, without expectation of return. It stems from an abundance mindset and a deep trust in sharing resources, knowledge, and time to benefit others that defies the confines of a scarcity mindset. Radical generosity involves a fundamental commitment to others’ well-being, moving a relationship out of the limited, skeptical world of transaction and into the abundant realm of true partnership. Ultimately, radical generosity means giving in a way that is so thoughtful and impactful that it creates an energetically abundant connection of trust where both parties genuinely want to support each other. Here are key hallmarks of radical generosity:

• Selfless and Unconditional: Radical generosity involves giving without any anticipation or condition of receiving anything back.
• Sacrificial Giving: Radical generosity is not just about giving out of surplus, but about being willing to engage with a cost or sacrifice for the well-being of others.
• Abundant Mindset: Radical generosity is rooted in a belief that there is enough for everyone and that sharing resources can lead to fruitful outcomes for all.
• Fundamental Commitment: Radical generosity is a core operating principle and a foundational commitment that guides actions and supports endeavors.
• Pervasive and Active: Radical generosity is not a one-time act but an ongoing way of operating that is evident in all aspects of one’s life and actions.

EXAMPLES OF RADICAL GENEROSITY

Who do you know from the Bible who exhibited radical generosity? How about the Good Samaritan in Jesus’s parable (Luke 10:25-37)? The Samaritan man, who would have been in a class despised by the Jews, came upon a Jewish stranger in dire need while on a long and exhausting walk from Jerusalem to Jericho. Rather than passing him by as others had done, the Samaritan man tended to the Jewish man’s wounds with oil and wine, transported him personally to an inn, and paid the innkeeper with his own money to care for the man, promising to cover any further expenses upon his return. Helping a stranger in need, even when exhausted and in a vulnerable position, demonstrated the Samaritan’s radical generosity by going above and beyond what even the Jewish man’s own countrymen should have done by providing ongoing assistance at his own personal cost.

Who else can you think of? How about Jesus Christ himself! Jesus’s entire existence was a living testament to radical generosity, finding its ultimate expression in His sacrificial death. Throughout His ministry, Jesus offered selfless and unconditional giving, healing the sick, feeding the poor, and teaching transformative truths, all without seeking personal gain, embodying a pervasive and active generosity fueled by an abundant mindset of divine love and grace. Of course, the definitive, most impactful act was His sacrificial death on the cross. By willingly accepting great suffering and death, Jesus incurred the most significant cost imaginable. His generosity was a fundamental commitment that embraced ultimate personal sacrifice for the well-being and salvation of humanity, giving completely without expecting anything in return. Jesus’s radical generosity was the ultimate testament to the self-emptying love of God.

WHAT IF I DON’T HAVE A NETWORK TO NURTURE?

There’s an ancient Chinese proverb that goes something like this:

“The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.”

Truly rewarding relationships take time to grow, and you may feel like you’re far behind where you’d like to be. But relationships won’t grow at all until you sow the seeds and nurture them. Pick up Dan Sullivan’s and Selena Soo’s books. They’ll help you identify which relationships you should start with. While you’re waiting for the books to arrive, why not start close to home? Do something radically generous for your spouse, a friend, a co-worker, or someone from your church. It can be something as small as sending someone a text to tell them you’re thinking about them and praying for them, or something as big as shouldering a major pain point or helping advance someone’s dream. Just get started, and watch God bless your efforts with radical generosity of His own!

If you’d like help building an authentic and rewarding network, I encourage you to check out my coaching page or connect with me directly. I’d love to walk with you!